Dear Jew in the City,
Why is there such hatred towards Orthodox and Chasidic Jews? As I pursue becoming observant, I have received many negative comments about the Orthodox, especially the Chasidic, from fellow Jews in particular. Why is this? I don't understand. Can you shed some light on this.
Thanks,
Shelley
Dear Shelley,
It's a great question. It's one of the things that motivated me to start JewintheCity.com and attempt to re-brand the public perception of Orthodox Jews. While I'm neither a sociologist, nor have I conducted any formal studies on the matter, I'll share with you my best guesses as to the root of these negative feelings.
1) People don't like what they don't understand: Orthodox Jews, ultra-Orthodox in particular (which includes Chassidim as well as non-Chassidic "Yeshivish" Jews) live in rather insular communities, wear clothing that makes us look different, eat in our own (kosher) restaurants, and every so often can be seen praying in public spaces (like airports) wrapped in prayer shawls (tallisim) and tefillin, while fervently shuckling (swaying). All in all, to an outsider, we seem weird! The thing is, your average person, if given the chance to hear the meaning behind many of our customs and practices, would probably see a beauty to them. Since most people don't get the a chance to hear the explanations when they observe us on the street, all they're left with is the first impressions which are negative.
2) Non-Orthodox Jews think Orthodox Jews are judging them: Nobody likes to be judged, and many non-Orthodox Jews assume that Orthodox Jews look down at them for being less observant. If you're becoming more observant now, your Jewish friends and family quite likely fear that you becoming "holier" has made you "holier than thou." Now there certainly are Orthodox Jews who judge non-Orthodox Jews for being less observant, but the perception is far more important than the reality in a case like this. Even if all Orthodox Jews suddenly woke up one day and committed to never judging another non-Orthodox Jew for being less observant, if the non-Orthodox Jews still assumed that they were being judged they would still continue to feel resentful.
3) There are some bad apples in the bunch: Even though Orthodox Jews are supposed to live according to high moral standards, unfortunately not all of us do. Though most people will never personally meet an Orthodox Jew (as we tend to live in only specific cities and there are entire states and countries that are basically uninhabited by us) people that do have negative experiences will share their stories with others. And because we're supposed to be living up to higher standards, we're not only looked down upon as regular wronger-doers but as hypocrites to boot.
4) The media portrays Orthodox Jews very negatively: Negative interactions that occur one by one can only spread so far. The real way that the bad apples hurt the Orthodox community is when their misdeeds make headlines. Our community only seems to get news coverage when one of us does something bad. (Which unfortunately seems to happen all too often.) Maybe it's because the media loves to hate us, maybe it's because many of the everyday good acts that most of us are doing aren't interesting enough to make headlines. Whatever the case, when people read about us in the papers, it's almost always due to something negative. If the only "religious" Jews that make the news are the liars, cheaters, and molesters, the entire community gets reflected in that light.
In additon to news media, we're generally portrayed negatively in books, movies, television, and plays. These portrayals could be based on the lack of understanding, the fear that we're judging, and/or the negative headlines we make. But there's one other factor that could be causing writers and authors to depict us negatively - the personal experience reason (again). We Jews tend to be a creative bunch and are disproportionately represented in many creative industries including t.v., movie, book, and play writing. I have a feeling that there's a certain percentage of writers out there that either used to be Orthodox or have had negative encounters with the Orthodox.
When dealing with a creative story telling medium, all you need is one person who grew up with a strict Orthodox father or who got cheated by an Orthodox business partner and suddenly the mistakes of one person can be depicted in some form of entertainment seen or read by many. The majority of viewers/ readers, probably don't have personal experiences with Orthodox Jews (since we tend to be more insular and live in select cities, as mentioned before) to tell them that what they're watching/reading does not apply to everyone.
5) People think that our values are old-fashioned: The general moral code for the secular world is that any behavior that doesn't harm another person is permissible. Orthodox Jews, among other religious groups, believe that God has expectations of people that go beyond the golden rule. Even if most Orthodox Jews don't try to impose their values on others, the fact that we simply have them is offensive enough to many people.
Solutions to these problems will not come quickly or easily, but I'll keep doing my part to get the word out to the world about who we really are and what we really believe. Then, maybe one day, people outside of our community will judge us based on reality rather than perception.
Sincerely yours,
Allison (aka Jew in the City)
I’m a Catholic, myself, but I think I can explain in some way. People who are complacent, that is, spiritually complacent, are timid of Tradition. That “T” word frightens them. It’s something so ancient, so venerable, that it seems to be alien. Those of any God-fearing faith who adhere, genuinely, to Tradition, find themselves in closer union with God. Some people claim that Tradition is elitist – it is not. Some people claim that Tradition is antiquated – it is not. It is an ever-enriching, soul-quenching God-given, and to let ourselves be swayed to apathy because of the heterodoxy of others is a sin beyond many.
Posted by Gen on January 22, 2010 at 11:09 am
Thanks for your comment, Gen. This may be true for some people. Someone else emailed me a similar idea and said she thought the hatred came from people feeling guilty about not being observant enough themselves. Both of these reasons may be true for some people, but I didn’t include them in my list is because 1) I never felt this way before I was Orthodox and 2) no one non-Orthodox has ever told me this is a reason for their negative feelings (probably because a person would admit such a thing even if it were true). So I hear you, that this could be a possibility, but unless I know of an actual person or persons who felt/feel this way, I wouldn’t want to assume that they do.
Posted by Allison on January 22, 2010 at 11:44 am
Another reason is many Non Orthodox Jews think that Orthodox Jews will force their opinions on them, forcing them to become strict Orthodox Jews. Their is an organization that takes secular Jews on holiday in order to make them more religious. This organization is seen as brainwashing and forcing non Orthodox Jews to live a strict Orthodox lifestyle.
You say that non Orthodox Jews think that Orthodox Jews are judging them. Rabbis are role models for the Jewish community and I don’t hear about Orthodox rabbis meeting or speaking to reform rabbis but I have seen Orthodox rabbis speaking to leaders of other religions. This can send out the message to the Orthodox Jewish community to have non or limited contact with reform Jews and many reform Jews think they should have non or limited contact with the Orthodox Jews.
Posted by Lydia on January 22, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Thanks for your comment, Lydia. I want to start off by saying that I know the types of organizations you’re referring to – I’ve been on some of these retreats myself. I find your desciption of them a bit unfair – the notion that they “take secular Jews on holiday in order to make them more religious” is a bit presumptuous in my mind.
These organizations are around to allow secular Jews to experience the beauty of a traditional Shabbos and to give them a chance to learn Torah in a meaningful way. I’m sure there are individual people in each of these organizations who have pushed participants to take on too much too fast too, but I think to imply that such organization have sneaky, brain washing alterior motives is uncalled for.
I think the people that particpate in such programs end up having more positive feelings about religious Jews because they get a chance to meet them up close and personally. Does that mean that every person that goes, though, feels that way? Of course not. Of course there are some people who react negatively, but most secular Jews never attend such retreats and in my experience most who do attend them are left with positive feelings. So while this reason might account for a small small minority of people who don’t like Orthodox Jews, I’d hardly say that this is a major reason for the problem.
In terms of Orthodox rabbis meeting with leaders of other religions but not non-Orthodox rabbis, I know some Orthodox rabbis who have very pleasant relationships with non-Orthodox rabbis. I’m not sure who you’re referring to exactly.
Posted by Allison on January 22, 2010 at 10:13 pm
I found this article about not liking the Orthodox interesting, and I agree with #4 somewhat. I am a conservative Jew and live in MI, but when I read about Orthodox or Ultra Orthodox Jews in Israel or New York, the press is very negative. Have you ever read the comment section in the VIN news? They say horrible things about all stories and people who aren’t exactly like them, they talk about non Jews and Jews who aren’t Orthodox in a terrible way. Now yes there may be a few bad apples but sometimes there are upwards of 50 comments. That would certainly make people think negative thoughts about them. Just a thought.
Posted by Mona on January 25, 2010 at 5:29 am
Glad you enjoyed the post, Mona. I don’t read VIN too often, but I’ve seen the comment section before. I’m always disappointed when Orthodox Jews behave in a close minded way. There are a few things to keep in mind, though: # 1 the internet is a very anonymous forum. We don’t know if the 50 comments you see are from 50 separate people, or just 5 annoying people who are writing in a lot.
# 2 we also don’t know how “Orthodox” these people writing in actually are. The commenters might dress “Orthodox” (not that we can even see them) but not be particularly careful about other areas of their mitzvah observance. That’s not to say that there aren’t just close minded/elitist types of religious Jews in the world who are scrupulous about the major mitzvos – they do unfortunately exist – though I would argue that even these seemingly religious people are still missing the boat.
That’s because practicing loving-kindness, ahavas Yisrael (loving all Jews), and recognizing that all people are created b’tzelem Elokim (in the image of God) actually ARE major principles that religious Jews are supposed to live by and the stories of our great rabbis show us people who DO live like this.
The last point I wanted to make is that #3, religious Jews commenting on websites is a fairly new phenomenon. When I was growing up in the early 80’s there were no message boards to influence my family’s and my view of religious Jews and yet we felt pretty negatively about them nonetheless. Such comments, for people that do see them, certainly don’t help things! Please accept my apology on behalf of these people and know that there are plenty of good ones of us out there!
Posted by Allison on January 25, 2010 at 11:35 pm
Alison, I think you missed my point. I am not saying or implying that these Jewish holidays brainwash people but I was saying that I know a Jewish organization that many people think brainwash secular Jews by taking them on holidays and I was talking about non Orthodox Jews perception of the Orthodox. There are many non Orthodox Jews who went on these holidays and became more religious and I have heard many secular Jews say it is brainwashing. I was talking about other people’s opinions.
Posted by Lydia on January 27, 2010 at 2:35 pm
I hear what you’re saying, Lydia. I just wanted to preface my comment with a point that though the term “brainwashing” is used some times by people, it’s really not a fair thing to say. Not that you yourself were calling it brainwashing but that we should be careful how we label certain things.
In terms of secular Jews not liking such organizations because their friends became more religious after participating in their programs, I hear that, though, I don’t think that this is more than a minor reason for the negative feelings as these programs haven’t been around for that long and only have a limited number of participants.
Posted by Allison on February 3, 2010 at 6:26 pm
My mom grew up in Liberty N.Y. where there were (and still are) many camps and bungalow colonies for Orthodox Jews not to mention a large, year round population. She tells about how they would spit on her car and throw things at her when she drove on Saturday and they were rude and dirty. My dad spent his summers working at a small gas station and tells about how he hated working on their cars because they always smelled so bad. My cousin still lives in that area and I’ve seen many comments from her (on Facebook) about the Hasidic Jews and why she hates them: smell, rudeness, etc. I don’t know how much of this is accurate but it does seem to be an issue with her and her friends.
Personally, I have a few friends who are Orthodox and I have not found these negative traits. I don’t know where it comes from. My guess is that it is a two way street. Maybe some, back in the 60s, spit at my mom. Maybe a few had dirty cars. Maybe the rest were on guard because they knew they were not the main stream. Now that the wall is up, it is hard to break down. They are still on guard, because they learned to be and because their guard is up they are percieved as being rude.
Posted by Ilysse on February 4, 2010 at 1:40 am
My father also came home with negative stories about Chasidim when he worked with them and had similar complaints: smelly, arrogant, dirty, etc. I think there is probably some truth to these stories, but these cases do not represent ALL Chasidim and certainly not all Orthodox Jews. I don’t really know what to make of the spitting or the dirtiness — these certainly aren’t Torah ideals, but I think it’s very important to remember that individual encounters or sometimes even trends in certain communities do not represent the community as a whole.
Posted by Allison on February 4, 2010 at 4:43 pm
I love the way your word your blogs..they are easy to understand and to the point(especially this one)..thx!
Posted by Sandra Greene on February 13, 2010 at 2:09 pm
There are two important reasons for tension between Jewish and nonJewish people in the US that I don’t see mentioned here:
The most closed-minded nonJewish people often hang on to racist ideas. Until quite recently, ethnic Jews were not considered “white” and so these predjudices still hang on in the same people that consider all black and Latino people dirty, stupid, criminals.
The more open-minded nonJewish people have a hard time understanding Zionism and the Israel-Palestine conflict and find it easier to sympathize with the Palestinians. When Zionist Jews get offended or angry with people supporting Palestine, it is hard for a nonJew to think of them as anything other than self-righteous and cruel.
Now, for the record I am not Jewish and I do not subscribe to the beliefs above (though I don’t understand the Israel thing) but I think these are some typical issues for nonJewish Americans. The reason that Orthodox Jews get the heat is likely because a. you can tell them apart from the nonJews, and b. Americans rarely embrace any group that refuses to integrate into mainstream society.
Posted by Brandi on March 13, 2010 at 6:25 am
I was at a Chabad meeting one night and looked around the table and thought: “Look how happy these people are. Look how content and accepting.” Not a one of them was particularly well-off, more than one had a relative that was not doing well health-wise, there were other concerns and problems in the hearts of these people…and yet…here they were. And when the Rabbi began to clap his hands and sing, so did they all clap and sing. The Rabbi reiterates over and over the acceptance of all, the joy of our existence, the doing of good. So why are we hated? Because we are not living with hate. And that frightens some people — a lot of people. It’s so much easier to point a finger and condemn and criticize, than to reach out a hand and welcome and compliment. And even though Jews are made fun of for their “qvetching”, the truth is, they fill the world with love and good feelings. So why shouldn’t we be hated? After all that has happened to us, how can we walk around smiling and feeling good about and toward everyone else? Welcoming and accepting others? How indeed! How indeed! How can we not be hated?
Posted by Jan on May 19, 2010 at 5:17 am
I am a non religious jew and i was verbally assaulted to day because I was talking on the phone.
I was dressed in dress clothing to day because my grand father is 85 and it is hard for him to walk to shul so i help him walk some times so because I helped an elderly man go to shul i get verbally assaulted on my way home no I respect religious jews who act like it but I truly feel that ones who verbally assault non religious jews on the street are not only turning there own people ageist them but they are also responsible for the holocaust and anti antisemitism
PS… please think of what you tell people before you say it because I lost allot of respect to day for the people I always respected
Posted by asher on June 13, 2010 at 6:54 am
Asher – I’m sorry for what happened to you. I completely agree that such behavior in unacceptable. There are unfortunately some Orthodox Jews out there that think verbally assaulting a person will somehow magically make him want to become more observant. If an observant Jew wants to inspire a less observant Jew, he must do so with exemplary behavior that represents Torah values. At the end of the day, not all Jews that dress “religious” act religious.
Posted by Allison on June 15, 2010 at 9:29 pm
There is the cultural differences as well, Every tight-knit insular community develops a certain way of interacting with each other that comes across as rude or offensive etc.to outsiders. The language barrier doesn’t help either…
Posted by Whatever on July 10, 2010 at 12:58 am