Dear Jew in the City,
For the Orthodox ladies who wear a wig and claim part of the reason is for modesty, isn't wearing a wig over hair kind of like wearing a t-shirt with a naked body printed on it? (Sorry for the crude example.) Wouldn't it be better to cover the hair with a cloth? I know some Orthodox ladies do, and this seems to make more sense to me.
Thanks,
D.V.
Dear D.V.,
Your question is an excellent one, and I was asked a similar question by a friend who upon hearing that I wore a wig over my hair told me that it was like wearing a prosthetic nose over my nose! His question bothered me for a while. I do NOT like having philosophical quandaries floating around in my head that I don't know how to answer, so after a bit of thought, I came up with something, and I think it applies to your question as well.
Let's first define what Jewish modesty is about. Contrary to popular belief, tznius (or tzniut, depending on how you pronounce it) is not about looking ugly or unattractive. It's about keeping certain parts of oneself private and off limits for public consumption. The parts that are considered "eyr-vah" (or require covering) in Jewish law have some innate sexuality or sensuality to them.
As far as I can tell, there are three different categories of body parts in regards to sexuality: the obviously sexual kind, the obviously not sexual kind, and the ones in the middle. A nose is about as asexual as it gets. Covering up a nose with a nose seems so preposterous since there's no modesty involved with a body part that has nothing sexual (or sensual) about it. A woman's chest is about as sexual as it gets. Covering up a woman's chest with a picture of a chest is, as you put it, "crude" because we consider a woman's chest to be a very sexual, private area.
Now we come to hair. According to Jewish law, a woman leaves her hair uncovered before she's married, so it must not be overtly sexual, since if it was it would never be shown. Although it's not overtly sexual, I think most people would agree that a woman's hair does have some innate sensuality to it. The expression "letting down your hair" implies a loosening up and relaxing that occurs once a person lets her hair flow freely. "Running fingers through someone's hair" conveys a similar sentiment about this hard to define sensuality of hair.
In terms of covering hair with a wig, the hair in the wig is not explicitly sexual as we already said, but at the same time it does create a barrier so that the actual, free-flowing hair of the woman is not available for public consumption. It's somewhat similar to wearing a t-shirt with flesh covered sleeves. As long as the material is opaque, wearing such a shirt is totally fine. According to Jewish law, the upper arms must be covered, but because upper arms are not overtly sexual, covering them up with a skin-like tone does not seem shocking or inappropriate.
But what if the wig is even more attractive than the woman's natural hair? Well, what if a skirt makes a woman's bottom half look more attractive than her bare legs would? What if her legs are full of cellulite and varicose veins? Would it suddenly be more modest to walk around skirtless? Obviously not, because the purpose of the skirt is not to look less attractive, but rather to create a barrier between the women's naked body and the rest of the world. So too a wig, even if it's more attractive than the woman's hair, creates that same barrier and keeps the private parts of the woman private.
And if you still disagree with wearing a wig over hair after all that, you can simply join the many Orthodox Jews out there (men and women alike) who are also against wigs and believe that hats and scarves are the only appropriate hair covering out there! (Though, as you can see, I am not one of them!)
Sincerely yours,
Allison
I’ve heard many people complain that married women’s wigs are too beautiful and much more luscious than their own hair, and ask how can this be modest?
I think many people forget what makes a woman’s hair attractive is her real hairline, how the hair grows out of her head and how the hair flows natural with her movements.
Posted by le7 on August 7, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I think its more about being in uniform. Like wearing skirts, you are saying im apart of this group..im like minded in this area. I dont really think wearing a wig..or just wearing some type of headcover..whichever you choose..one or the other is not wrong. Just picking a uniform…lol
Posted by Sandra Greene on February 13, 2010 at 2:52 pm
I can understand this argument towards wigs fulfilling the intended purpose. My understanding is that the wife’s real hair is to be enjoyed by the husband, as if it is a special gift just for him. Yet, some jewish women shave their heads and then wear wigs? How is this okay? I feel sorry for the husbands. Are they really okay with the shaved heads? If the head is shaved why wear the wig? There is nothing sensual to cover. It seems to really be defeating the purpose. I would love to hear your thoughts on this Allison.
Posted by Misty on April 4, 2010 at 7:24 am
Hi, I have been asking this same question all my life. Growing up as an orthodox Jew, now married with kids…I have worn a wig once or twice. I do not see the point. I completely agree. I believe, and most of the people I grew up here with in Israel also agree, that Jewish women who wear wigs are embarrased with their religion. A married woman must cover her hair (if she is an orthodox Jew) So many women out there are so afraid of what a scarf might look like that they must buy the most expensive, sexy wig. Then they take their time styling it etc…all just to look good. However, you want to look good? Look like a Jew, don’t be embarrased. It started with all the North American Jews, it seems like the biggest struggle they have is to look sexy and still apear modest. G-D made you beautiful, you do not need sexy cloths, wigs, makeup etc to show off his creatation. Stop being to afraid of not looking like everybody else. It’s funny, I actually appreciate the orthodox Muslims (dont agree with them, but appreciate them) They dress to their religion, no wigs…proud of who they are and dont want to look like the rest of the world.
Posted by Sarah on January 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Thanks for your question, Misty. The women who shave their heads (it’s a small percentage of Chasidic women) do so because the kaballah (the book of Jewish mysticism, which is not a book we derive law from) talks about it. They also are afraid of their hair being knotted when they immerse in the mikvah. I personally don’t find either of these reasons compelling AND, in the Torah, when discussing the “aishes yaffas to’ar” – the “beautiful captive woman of war” – when the Torah is trying to help a man in battle who’s taken a woman captive feel less attracted to her it says that she should shave her head. So it seems that even the Torah agrees that shaved heads are less attractive. However – because there are many paths within the Torah, although I disagree with this community in terms of what I’d want to do, I respect that they’re within the boundaries of Torah Judaism and leave their decisions up to them.
Posted by Allison on January 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm
Thanks for your comment, Sarah. But you’re being a bit presumptuous and a tad judgmental. As a multi-faceted hair coverer (i.e. I wear many different things on my hair, including sheitels), my choice of sheitels at times has NOTHING to do with being embarrassed about my religion. In fact, I like to mention to pple that I’m wearing a wig just so they know that I am. Why do I do it? So I can have choices in my hair style covering. Sometimes a hat or a scarf just doesn’t go (IMO) with something I’m wearing and I love being able to throw on some hair instead. It helps me do the mitzvah b’simcha (with joy) which is a big part of service of God. It’s perfectly fine for you to disagree with wig wearing for yourself, but I think you should reserve your judgments about other women, many of whom are wearing them for very good reasons.
Posted by Allison on January 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm
Do Jews know where these wigs come from?
There is talk that they are not always donated … willingly. Young, very poor girls overseas, are forced to cut their hair. For money that doesn’t necessarily wind up in their pockets.
I don’t know. This is something I would never do. Scarfs or tubans look more natural.
Posted by Marcee on February 3, 2012 at 1:31 am
Marcee, I can’t speak for all wig companies, but Freeda, the brand that I wear (and that now sponsors JITC videos) had this to say: This is an unfounded myth. As a matter of fact, when we buy our hair, there are lines around the corner of ppl begging us to choose their hair . They cant believe their good fortune, that someone will actually pay them for their hair. Furthermore, sometimes we buy hair that is short knotty and useless, just to not have to turn ppl away.
You can wear whatever hair covering you’re most comfortable in, but there is nothing unethical about wearing a wig.
Posted by Allison on February 3, 2012 at 7:31 pm