Torah/Parsha
November 5th, 2009
Be Our Guest
The other day, as I was standing in the check out line at one of my favorite clothes stores, I noticed that the saleswoman behind the counter kept asking the next "guest" to step forward. "Guest?!" I snickered. How exactly are we your guests? Although the trend of referring to customers as guests is nothing new, I was suddenly struck by the absurdity of it all.
Continue reading Be Our Guest
September 24th, 2009
You Gotta Have Faith, Faith, Faith
The other day, upon returning from a trip to the supermarket, groceries in tow (or rather in hand), I realized that I had left my keys at home. But just then, wouldn't you know, one of our neighbors walked through the lobby at the exact right moment to catch my flailing arms in his peripheral vision. "Hashgacha prutis" (Divine Providence) I thought to myself as he opened the door. But then I laughed to myself because, you see, if my neighbor hadn't been there, and I was locked outside, stuck for hours, rained on, poured on, I still would have said that it was "hashgacha prutis"!
September 9th, 2009
New Kid on the Block
"I look fabulous!" declared my six-year-old daughter as she stood in front of my bedroom mirror wearing her first day of school ensemble. It was the night before school started and everything was just about ready. New shoes, new socks, new dress, new backpack filled with new supplies. New headband, new hair cut, new student. Oh yes, my daughter was ready for the first day of first grade at a new school, and she couldn't wait. Except that could. As she flitted and twirled around the house in her new digs, my eldest child repeated again and again, "I can't wait! But I can. I can't wait! But I can." Mixed feelings? Indeed.
Continue reading New Kid on the BlockFebruary 19th, 2009
Disgusting As a Danish
On Thursday morning I woke up to find my danish - the one that was meant to be my breakfast danish - sitting at the top of the nearly-overflowing kitchen garbage can. My initial disappointment in seeing it there was quickly curbed by the fact that I knew I pretty much deserved it.
Continue reading Disgusting As a DanishDecember 25th, 2008
Of the Lean Days Ahead
I started thinking today about how bloated we've all been. (As a society, of course - not just from overdoing it on latkes this past week.) We've been living so prosperously for quite some time - years of plenty, you might call them, but now we seem to be heading into leaner times.
Continue reading Of the Lean Days AheadJune 24th, 2008
Dirty, Money Grabbing, Parasitic Vermin
Dirty money grabbing, parasitic vermin. Hitler should have finished his good work. If it were legal, I would murder every God forsaken kike around me with a Louisville Slugger. But it's not, so I'll just keep waiting for the next chance we get.
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