Dear Allison,
I really enjoy your articles and Q&A's. I was hoping you might be able to lend some insight to my conundrum. I come from an interfaith family (my mother is Catholic and my father is Reform). Since my mother was far more religious, they decided I would be raised Catholic. We still celebrated Jewish holidays and fasted for Yom Kippur, etc., but I was very much raised within my mother's religion. I never felt comfortable in Catholicism, so I started to explore my Jewish roots as soon as I moved away for college.
Now, eight years later, I have just returned from a five-month MASA program in Israel and I am in love. I feel so "right" as a Jewish woman. I have become more observant and would very much like to marry someone Jewish and raise a Jewish family. The problem, of course, is that I am not considered a Jew by Orthodox standards and often find myself shunned even in Reform circles. I am very seriously considering an Orthodox conversion, but I was hoping to hear your thoughts about whether I want to convert for the right reasons.
The strongest reason I want to convert is because I don't want my children to go through what I went experienced. I was the lost gentile relative within our Jewish family circle, but I was the "Jewish kid" in Catholic school! I identify as a Jew, whether the OU recognizes it or not, but that's not enough for acceptance in many circles. I don't want my children or husband to have to face the issues I have. I want to finally be an official member of the "club," and put questions of my legitimacy to rest.
I also feel my ancestors pulling me, begging me to keep the tradition alive in our family. My great grandfather, who came here from Poland and then saw nearly his entire family murdered in the Holocaust, was very religious and was a classmate of David Ben-Gurion's. Now, just two generations later, his grandson, my father, cannot read Hebrew, does not pray or attend shul ever, and wanted to blow out the Shabbat candles I lit because he thought the wax would harm the candlesticks.
Something has to give! If I don't keep our beautiful traditions alive, no one will! The only disclosure I want to make is that I don't ever think I will be completely Orthodox. I am probably more of a Reform-ative girl (versus Conserv-adox, etc). I try to fulfill as many mitzvot as possible, but I know I will never fulfill all 613 to a T. So, after that long e-mail, my question is, do you think my reasons for conversion are valid? Or am I just kidding myself? Thanks so much for any thoughts or advice you might have! I really absolutely love your site. It has been so inspiring and helpful!
Sincerely,
TS
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