Dear Allison,
My life used to be on a trajectory very similar to the one yours took. I was raised as a Conservative Jew and, as a teenager, was enchanted by the spiritual and intellectual depth of Orthodox Judaism. My would-be journey was abruptly cut short, though, when I realized that I was gay, and that if I lived in an Orthodox community I would be forced to live as half a person -- alone without the love or intimacy of long-term commitment that is as essential to the soul as food and water are to the body. I chose love and intimacy in the secular world over spiritual death in the Orthodox world.
I am obviously not alone. Countless gay Jews have abandoned Orthodox Judaism because of its attitude towards homosexuality. And who can blame them? Would you remain Orthodox if the Torah prescribed you loneliness and celibacy? Would you remain in your community if it blessed and celebrated commitments between gay Jews while forbidding your love for your husband? When will the Orthodox world offer a sincerely empathetic response to the suffering of its gay members (not one that denies their existence or condemns them to misery)?
For me and every other gay person I know, these questions are inextricable from our (frequently negative) opinions of Orthodox Judaism.
Respectfully yours,
K.L.
Continue reading How Can You Be an Orthodox Jew Considering Its Position on Homosexuality?
