We believe that people should be “mentsches” – which basically means, good guys, with good character traits and we believe that all people were made in the image of God.

I’d like to apologize on behalf of religious Jews and let you know that there are many of us that are appalled at this story. I hope you come across some Orthodox Jews one day soon who will shock you with how wonderful they are!

In my experience, many Orthodox in this neighborhood do act extremely rude. Each time I’m walking on the sidewalk and an Orthodox Jew is coming in the other direction, they will square their shoulders and walk in the middle of the path, forcing me onto the grass or in the street to go around them. The shoulder squaring especially happens when there are 2 or more people walking together. Instead of temporarily moving to the right side, or going into single file–like me and mine do when we’re passing others– they lock shoulders together to bump you off. This familiar situation happened just 2 days ago, and I ended up in a huge mud puddle! Give me a break here!

Another thing is the ‘death gaze’. Each time I even try to smile at an Orthodox person, they glare at me. I only still try to smile at other women– I’ve learned the Orthodox men will not even recognize that there is another human being on the sidewalk, never mind nod or say hello. I try to smile especially at mothers with children, thinking that there could be some friendly understanding– something universally common and human between two mothers– but greetings are never reciprocated, and are only returned with disdain.

The baby carriages also ‘gravitate’ to the middle of the sidewalk if one is coming toward me, even if there would be room for both a person and another carriage to pass, if only both would move to their right sides.

The most disheartening thing to see is the disdain of the young children (and there are many- I live between 2 Jewish schools!!). The effects of such early extreme indoctrination results in these kids regarding anyone outside their circle as different and bad.

If I smile at the kids when they’re playing near my porch, they give a death glare, like their mothers. The pre-teens have ripped up my garden and broken my terracotta plant pots. I don’t know if they’re pranks, or if there is some ‘message’ there, to get out of their eruv. Its so sad to me. Segregating these kids from society is doing a grave disservice to them, as the world gets smaller and more competitive with more and more globalization. Less understanding and more segregation is moving backward with progression.

The problem with this group is, of course, not the culture itself or their beliefs- everything is relative to a particular group’s perception. The problem is that these people are a group living within another larger society, whose collective perceptions, values and norms they ignore and refuse to recognize as even valid. This is extremism, and nothing more. Look to the Near East and the American South to see how great extremism has been for societies.

Don’t worry about who’s going to hate you for who you are because that’s not important. What is important is to become closer with Hashem and if you meet people in the orthodox community (by davening and honoring the sabbath…) you’ll only meet people that see the world from the truth Hashem instead of the other way around.

It’s a bit surprising even in Israel secular jews can get a bit queesy when meeting orthodox jews just because they might think that they’re religious nut jobs. Although from the orthodox p.o.v. you would be a nut job not being observant because you’re cutting off your connection with Hashem and you won’t be rewarded nearly as much in the after life

I came to Judaism young, I was 12. I was fascinated by the idea of an ancient wisdom and forgotten virtues and ideals. I went to a Yeshiva and ‘sat and learned’ till I was almost 30 years old. I married a girl who was raised orthodox and we had six children. I am now 52. And I will say that my search was successful. The wisdom and the ideals and virtues of the Torah are as real and compelling as any of the great wonders of the world. Their truth is self evident to anyone who takes the time to savor it. It stands on its own merits without need for promoters or defenders.

That being said, there are some painful realities that took me a lifetime to accept.

Many orthodox Jews are amoral. Many orthodox Jews are unpleasant at best and down right acrimonious at worst. To some, the Torah is a commodity. To some, the Torah is an opportunity. To some, the Torah is a tool. To some, the Torah is a competition. To some, the Torah is high fashion. To some, the Torah is a science. To some, the Torah is a passport. And to a precious handful, the Torah is their faith, faith in the sense of the highest calling.

In terms of the “perfectionist” thing, I don’t think that people who try to do everything right necessarily have to make others look bad. I think if the perfectionism is coupled with haughtiness (a VERY negative trait the Torah tells us to eradicate) than it could make others look bad, but if the person is striving to be the best person he can be and does so in a humble way (and an Orthodox Jew ought to) it shouldn’t bring anyone else down.