Comments on: Destined for Lateness

By: Allison

Allison — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 12:00:53 +0000

Galina-
For the record, the reason that I didn’t post your original comment was not because you disagreed with me, but rather because of the rudeness of its tone.
I’m fine debating people about issues. (Though sometimes I’ll answer a comment via email if it’s too essoteric for my average reader.)
I do not, however, feel the need to post comments where people baselessly personally attack me.
I agree that being on time is a nice trait and that it even is a Torah ideal, but in your original comment you accused me of being late due to my “large ego”.
I can assure you, I get to places late – like planes and buses – when there’s no one involved and no one put out but me. I get to those places late not due to my ego, but rather because I was raised in a family that was usually late and never learned the skills to get places on time.
Being puctual is a constant struggle for me. I’m better sometimes and worse other times. It’s important to note that most things I write on this site are exagerrated for the sake of humor. Other bloggers make fun of other people to get a laugh, but I usually just mock myself since I don’t want to put other people down.
The blog itself wasn’t actually about whether being late is good or not. It was about trusting in Hashem. My last line about getting places late being out of my control was mostly said tongue-in-cheek.
I posted your comment this time because you said it in a polite way and you are correct that the Torah values puctuality. (Though I never meant to imply that it doesn’t.)
Again, I’m fine with an exchange of ideas, but personally attacking the gal who’s moderating the comments is not the best way to get your comment posted!

By: Galina

Galina — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:40:23 +0000

I’m very curious about the comments area on this particular blog. Everyone whose postings you approved seem to agree with you and what you wrote. I posted a comment that didn’t really agree with your take on the subject of timing. To me being late is a matter of not taking personal responsibility and its extremely disrespectful of the person or people who are waiting for you to show up. Since a huge part of being Jewish is to love & respect other, I see this as a huge breakdown in commitment (that is assuming of course that you have a commitment to respecting others).
I used to be late all the time. I was the worst offender myself, until I had a teacher who showed me how arrogant my actions were towards others with this behavior which I saw as a trivial issue. I have been there and I had done the being late thing for most of my life before that day. I was committed to being on time after that. I didn’t like to be disrespected or feel disrespected by other and don’t feel entitled to do that to others. Our time in this world is limited and we never know how limited it is, so when we are late , we are actually thieves who steal other peoples time. That is not my personal opinion, its written in Ethics of The Fathers (Pirkei Avot). When I read that, it made perfect sense to me and I am not anywhere near your level of Torah observance. You are far more religious than I ever will be, which is why I am surprised that you are not willing to post an opinion that disagrees with your on your blog. You have only approved the postings of those who agree with you about how cute and funny it is to be late and all the people whos responses I’ve read seem to agree that being on time is something outside themselves and not in their control. All that is required is taking personal responsibility for our actions which is also what Judaism and the Torah is all about.
Take personal responsibility and commit to respecting the time of others even if your are not as respectful of your own personal time which is also limited and very valuable. You will save yourself a lot of stress in the process and prolong your time on this earth with your beautiful family.
This doesn’t mean that you will never be late again, but at least you will not come across as an arrogant person who thinks they are entitled to be late because they have a great “reason” (read:excuse) all the time.
You are an amazing woman who is doing a great thing by promoting Jews in a positive light and doing what you can for the betterment of the community. We are the chosen people so we can be a light unto the nations and set an example by how we are being in the world.
I know that being late seems like such a small thing but it says so much about a person and who they are being. The experience on the receiving end of waiting for people who are always late is kind of disgusting. My time is as valuable as yours and everyone elses who wait for us. They made the effort to be there and as a Jew , you should ask the same of yourself. If not for you then at least to set a great example for your children to follow since kids don’t do what we say, they follow what we do.
I hope that you open minded enough and courageous enough to publish my comment as well even though I know that you may not personally like or appreciate what I have to say.

By: Dee

Dee — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 11:52:42 +0000

Loool I’m always late too and ppl never understand how thats possible but you described it perfectly Great blog

By: LP

LP — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 08:57:40 +0000

Laughing all the way! The lateness thing is definitely a challenge for many. It’s an actual skill, I believe.
Good lesson learned, as always.

By: Carol

Carol — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 03:28:16 +0000

Oh Allison, by the way I was completely gripped by this blog just shows there are many lessons to be learned yet for us both.